Tagged: wine

How Many Beers Does It Take To Get Blackout Drunk In Germany?

Lost Luggage… Mayhem Ensues A Few Hours Later

Touchdown in Munich, and we find out the airline lost our luggage. Winda is freaking out–I’m alright. I’m laughing, and she’s grabbing and shaking me erratically, “How are you not freaking out right now????” I have faith that our luggage will be restored to us by this evening. The lady who got mad at us at the front desk said so. All will work out. We have free café au lait from the Lost Luggage department. I am happy.

In pursuit of our recent upheaval at the airport, we end up getting yelled at a total of three times upon arrival–but we still have free café au lait. I’m still happy. Welcome to Germany.

This thought process is indicative to the kind of attitude I’ve had for the entirety of the trip. I’m always sure things will be okay–if I could sum it up in one gesture, it would be a shrug and a small smile. My friends say it’s because I have no regard for the rules of life–both written and inherent.

We make our way to our hostel. Our first order of business is finding food, obviously.

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Not the biggest fan of German food, but I do loooove me some curry wurst; train station sandwiches are not too bad, and HB beer is probably my favourite beer thus far.

One of my favourite things about Germany is how you can simply join somebody’s table if there’s no more available space in a restaurant. We get seated next to this dude who was drinking alone, end up talking, find out he’s a lawyer, and he ends up taking us to our first German beer hall. And this is where we committed our first European crime:

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I’ll have you know we were encouraged by the German lawyer. He tells us he stole one when he was 16–it’s practically a rite of passage. And we fucking did it.

“We. Have. NOTHING!!!!!!!”

We get back to our hostel–all proud of our recent feat–and we ask the front desk whether our bags have arrived. No, no they haven’t. And it starts to dawn on us that we have no pj’s, no clean underwear, and no things to shower with. We are dirty as fuck. We. Have. NOTHING. Those minerals from the Blue Lagoon in Iceland? Still attached to, what really felt like, every single fibre of hair on my body.

We are bordering on hysterical at this point. We ask if they have any hostel merch to give us. The receptionist dude pulls out two tiny tank-tops with “Fully Booked” emblazoned on the front, and says, “I have these. But I really have, like, zero idea where they came from.” We take them in sheer desparation.

Our hostel gives out these drink vouchers for their bar upon arrival–except you only get one. We turn to our receptionist after crying pretty loudly in misery, “Can you give us another drink voucher?” Winda asks. I say, “Can you give us, like, five?”

And he does. And so, here are the beginnings of my demise.

Waking Up Next To My Hofbräuhaus Mug

I felt like I was pretty well-versed in the art of drinking until I blacked out for the first time ever in Germany.

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Had a dream I was yelling, then got yelled at in return, had pizza, and tried throwing up. Only to awaken next to my Hofbräuhaus mug, in the same clothes as last night. My initial thought is, Aw… Winda put me to bed with my mug because that’s all we have right now. Then I notice I’m in the same clothes as last night. Ew, ew, EW. 

The familiar words, What the fuck happened? surface in my mind, and I’m rolling out of our hostel bunk bed with an intolerable ringing in my ears.

Where The Fuck Is MY Towel?!??!!?

Turns out, upon receiving those 5 vouchers, we went a little crazy at the bar. I remember the personalities of the evening–Marcus #2 (Marcus #1 was the lawyer who encouraged us to steal), Marcus #2’s horny bald friend, and a French surfing nomad named Pierre. I remember spewing out bits of French (as I have done embarrassingly throughout this entire fucking trip), and telling Winda that Marcus #2 was really boring and kind of dumb.

Skipping forward (because I’ve lost track of this part of the evening,) I’m told that we enjoy consecutive glasses of wine and beer–numbers that far outstretched the longevity of our existing 5 drink vouchers. We get pizza–I wanted potato pizza, and Winda asks me very firmly, “Are you sure you want potato pizza?” (She hates potatoes.)

We proceed to our hostel lobby. Same dude that gave us 5 vouchers is there (I think his name’s Jon From Australia.) Winda wants a towel to sleep in, as we have no pjs. Jon From Australia hands her 2. I start screaming hysterically, “WHERE’S MY TOWEL?!?!?!?”

Jon From Australia’s colleague is quick to intervene. “Screaming isn’t going to get you anything!” She apparently snaps at me. Jon From Australia removes himself from the situation. I’m not even ashamed at this point, instead I’m really fucking sad, and really fucking drunk. “I’m sorry,” I say, “I’m just so sad. We. Have. NOTHING!!!!” 

We leave the lobby area (I’m sure everyone was happy about that.) Winda is taking a shower, when I throw open the door (as she’s taking a shower), and frantically (and drunkenly) explain myself, “I need to throw up. I’m going to throw up. I need to throw up!” I try throwing up. I don’t end up throwing up.

I get put to bed. And that’s how I end waking up next to my Hofbräuhaus mug.

We Lived Happily Ever After… 

There’s a happy ending to this story. Upon waking up disheveled and disoriented, our luggage has been delivered to our hostel that morning. I go downstairs to retrieve what’s rightfully mine, and the boys at reception are all, “Why aren’t you jumping up and down like your friend?” I whisper-inhale (because I’m so fucking hungover/overcome with emotion and fatigue), “I just can’t.”

Answer: I’m going to say… 1 pint of beer, followed by 2 litres of beer, then another beer, then 2 glasses of wine, another glass of wine, a bit of Long Island Iced Tea, and that’s all I can really remember.

xx, k

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Dansk Sommermad

Started my exchange in Aarhus, Denmark in July. Spent the rest of my summer having dinner with some beautiful people..

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From top to bottom: Dinner in Copenhagen–the night I very nearly single-handedly ate a whole bag of family-sized curly fries because I’m from North America and I had to have it; our first garden dinner in Loes’ backyard, perfected by an international spread; dinner in Copenhagen #1–nothing better than arriving in a foreign destination with dinner sitting on the table; Night of a Thousand Wines (we had 10-12 bottles–a bottle per person); that time Loes made pavlova, and it was gorgeous; pre-Holland vs. Argentina sustenance; French evening, where Gauthier made a shit ton of crepes–both savoury and sweet; smuggled French wine in the park, and my fav apple cider; garden dinners & more. Hygge mad.

I’m easily smitten by good food, good company, and consecutive bottles of rosé. Easily.

xx, k

A Marzipan Christmas

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20+ people at our annual Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve! A combination of the best — our Chinese side of the family x my uncle’s Italian, Hungarian, and German side. I’ve donned it my Chinese Italian Fusion Family.

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Featuring marzipan everything–chocolate covered, as tart filling, in the shape of Christmas paraphernalia, as garnishes in novelized shapes, as a bar, topped with candied fruit..

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My aunt’s boyfriend’s dad who is Scottish (and whose name is Alistair–like how fucking badass is that?), brought some of his homemade eggnog and oh my God, I should really curl up into a small ball and hide in shame because it was literally 80% bourbon, 20% eggnog and I could not handle it. Alistair laughed at me in his badass entirety and claimed this was his lighter recipe (just imagine this interaction in a heavy Scottish accent.)

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The fibre optic Christmas tree from my third dinner — my aunt clearly doesn’t fuck around.

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I almost ate the plastic decorations on this yule log cake, because unlike everything else on the freaking table it was not actually made of marzipan. 

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Opened a damn cookie factory in my girl’s kitchen.. She made like four dozen cookies, while I made mango sago (quite successfully actually), and then reverted back to helping her turn sugar cookies into tiny Santas into regular cookies into chocolate stuffed cookies into.. just too many kinds of cookies. We were near hysterics during those few hours because we were both so tired and the cookies were not looking like they did on Pinterest.

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And the free-flowing wine at my family’s Christmas dinners is how I know we’re all related.

xx, Kaylynn